Are you frustrated with your mundane existence? Fed up spending day-after-day drinking hot, milky beverages, endlessly pressing ‘refresh’, and chowing down on copious amounts of biscuits and/or cake? Do you yearn for a world (or even a taste) of excitement and wonder? Then you’re in luck!

With this ‘ere book, you’ll be transported to a fantastic world (well, the majestic city of Salisbury), where a rather pissed-off monster (hellbent on devouring everyone on the planet), has been summoned completely out of the blue. On a Wednesday, of all days, AND it’s sunny outside! Hence, instead of enjoying the uncharacteristically wonderful weather, you find yourself armpit-deep in mild-to-moderate peril.

Have you pictured that in your brain? Got it? Good. Because the ending is completely up to you. Does humanity stand, or does it fall? Do disasters happen, beyond all mortal comprehension, or do you opt for a more traditional approach? What devilish secrets have I hidden away? Do I have any more tedious and not even terribly inventive questions to ask you? Why yes, yes I do!

Are you still reading this? If so, then stop right there at the end of this sentence so you can jump in and find out for yourself, as you get to… dictate your fate.